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Halloween!!!!!!!!!!
11.01.06 (9:46 am)   [edit]

 
Halloween
A jack-o'-lantern
Halloween is a tradition celebrated on the night of October 31, most notably by children dressing in costumes and going door-to-door collecting sweets, fruit, and other treats. It is celebrated in parts of the Western world, most commonly in the United States, Canada, the UK, Ireland, and with increasing popularity in Australia and New Zealand, as well as the Philippines. In recent years, Halloween is also celebrated in parts of Western Europe, such as Belgium and France. Halloween originated as a Pagan festival among the Celts of Ireland and Great Britain with Irish, Scots, Welsh and other immigrants transporting versions of the tradition to North America in the 19th century. Most other Western countries have embraced Halloween as a part of American pop culture in the late 20th century.

The term Halloween, and its older spelling Hallowe'en, is shortened from All-hallow-even, as it is the evening before "All Hallows' Day" (also known as "All Saints' Day"). The holiday was a day of religious festivities in various northern European Pagan traditions, until Popes Gregory III and Gregory IV moved the old Christian feast of All Saints Day from May 13 to November 1. In Ireland, the name was All Hallows' Eve (often shortened to Hallow Eve), and though seldom used today, it is still a well-accepted label. The festival is also known as Samhain or Oíche Shamhna to the Irish, Calan Gaeaf to the Welsh, Allantide to the Cornish and Hop-tu-Naa to the Manx. Halloween is also called Pooky Night in some parts of Ireland, presumably named after the púca, a mischievous spirit.

Many European cultural traditions hold that Halloween is one of the liminal times of the year when spirits can make contact with the physical world and when magic is most potent (e.g. Catalan mythology about witches, Irish tales of the Sídhe).

 
6 Comments
 
Angelina set to adopt an Indian baby
10.28.06 (12:54 pm)   [edit]

 
Angelina set to adopt an Indian baby 
Angelina Jolie is adopting an Indian baby to add to her growing international brood, according to US reports.

The actress and partner Brad Pitt have already applied to adopt a tot from an Indian orphanage. An insider said: "They hope to be able to bring the child home by Christmas. Brad would prefer a boy no older than 18 months to even out the sexes but Angie has told him she can’t guarantee she won’t fall in love with a little girl." 
 

 "Whichever they end up with, they'd like to name the child India to honour its homeland." The pair are rumoured to have visited an orphanage last month.

Angelina’s first child, five-year-old Maddox, was adopted in Cambodia in 2002. Last year she adopted an Ethiopian baby girl — Zahara Marley Jolie — orphaned by AIDS, now 22 months old.

11 Comments
 
Funny List of Movie Cliches-IV
10.23.06 (9:20 pm)   [edit]
1) If you´re getting kicked into the face, there´s no real problem with that. Regardless how hard you´ve been kicked, you will stay unconcious for the maximum of five minutes. Then, after saying "Ouch!", you´ll be able to get on your feet again and rescue the world. You don´t have broken cheek bones or jaw fractures, of course. And there´s not even the slightest hematoma to be seen.

2) Every city - despite of its size - has at least one old lady who drives herbelongings in some old baby buggy or shopping cart around. If the lady is a guy he always uses a shopping cart and never a baby buggy.

3) If some old wino witnesses some sort of unbelievable event (aliens landing, Monsters eating people...), there are two possibilities. He either looks at the paper-wrapped bottle with a view of disgust, throws it away and starts a new life or he takes a deep breath and then slowly walks the other direction.

4) Radiation - despite of its amount - almost instantly results in burn wounds or big ugly abscesses with yellow fluid leakings. Oh yes, this is only for bad guys. Good guys will never suffer from radiation instantly. And the hero, of course, will not suffer from radiation at all...

5) German soldiers/terrorists seem to be able to pronounce only two phrases correctly: "Jawohl!" und "Herr General!". For all the other words they mostly use some kind of guttural Orc language. This assumes that they all have short names like Karl or Franz. Names with more than one syllable don´t occur because they wouldn´t be able to pronounce them, anyway... The more consonants a German surname has, the more evil the character is. If he also has some kind of aristocratic prefix he´s the incarnate evil. So, "von Strattmann" is likely more evil than "Strattmann".

6) If you ring the bell of a house and nobody opens after the third try the possibilities depend on the inhabitant´s character: If she is the only important witness she almost surely lies slaughtered in the bath tube. If he is the only important witness he almost surely lies on the ground with a bullet in his head. If, by some obscure circumstances, you find the person alive, unbothered and unharmed, you´re to be sure that the poor guy/girl will be killed soon after you leave. If she holds some vital information about the villain and belongs to the villain´s labour/group she most likely is gone shopping and is about to return just in the second you found the vital information. So, no danger here... If he holds some vital information about the villain and belongs to the villain´s labour/group he most likely enters the room soon after you started the search. No real danger here, too, since those guys always ask "What are you doing here!" before they draw their weapons. So, either talk yourself out of the situation or knock the guy out.

7) Male teenagers who are new to town always suffer from the "New Kid Syndrom", which means that nobody likes them, unless they make some new odd friend. This new friend most likely is one of three types; 1)Another underdog kid with odd abilities and odd habits. 2) An old guy who teaches some kind of weird martial arts voodoo. 3) Some crazy animal like worn-out race horses, unbelievable clever dogs, dolphins, Orcas, Wolfes or wild cats. By this, they usually get the attention of the hottest girl at school, whose
boyfriend is anything other than happy about that. They normally start a fight at one point, the animal gets hurt (poor thing), the girl slaps her former boyfriend, kisses the new kid, all are happy, the end.

8) For the female teenagers there is only one way to go; they find a new friend (odd girl, dance teacher, old lady) who transform them into Cinderella. So she first gets attracted by the school´s Idiot (seen from the sight of an adult: football star, best looking bully, is barely able to read or write) but later chooses the friendly, shy guy that she got to know on her first day, all are happy, the end.

9) The janitor of a school is either a frightening old guy who hates children or he is a unbelievable friendly person who is always there for the underdogs.

10) In every comedy the main character´s boss is a complete and utter idiot. In real life this type of guy would even have diffiuties to get the job as a street cleaner but in movieland they all seem to have good, highly paid jobs.

11) If the title "Professor" is connected to some kind of important invention, the inventor is most likely a white male in his 60s w/ scruffy hair-doo, metal-rimmed glasses and at least one unearthly beautiful AND smart daughter. If he has also a son, it´s most likely that this son might betray his father by stealing this important invention. If he has two sons and no daughters, one of the sons is good, the other is evil.

12) If there by some odd circumstances are commercials on Radio/TV in a movie, they are almost about ridiculous things that noone would ever buy. It´s most likely that only the product´s name is mentioned and you have absolutely no idea what it might be. Like "Stroodles! Buy one, get one free!"

13) If Teenagers find themselves locked in the house and lots of scary things happen (aka masked people running around with axes, knifes or chainsaws) they eventually try to call the police after they found their best friend´s head in some odd place (usually the fridge or the wardrobe) or slip on some litres of blood in a room where their best friend´s hanging upside down from the ceiling. But no matter what they try (normal phone, dad´s radio set, cellphones) they never get through.

14) If you move to a strange village where strange things happen, you´re to be sure that half of the townsfolk is involved while the other half is on vacation.

15) It never fails that right when the girl yells out to her boyfriend she's gonna go take a shower, the killer happens to be close by and then creeps in the bathroom to kill her. When the girl hears a small creak in the floor boards she calls out her boyfriend's name and then gets out of the shower wrapping herself in a towel. She then goes around the corner to have the killer bring her to her death.

16) Whenever the main hero is about to confess something important to another character (usually a love interest) they both have something to say. The hero lets the other person go first, and whatever they say makes the hero not want to say what he was about to say. When asked what they were going to say, they say something unimportant like "Nice dress".

17) All simulation computers used by any government agency (i.e. NASA) should be discounted in the face of the intuition of new/inexperienced/underdo g characters, who will inevitably sway their doubters at a critical moment by screaming, "Their computers are wrong! I know I'm right!"

18) People never get hickups , sneeze, or cough during movies.

19) Whenever the hero crawls through the ventilation system, the vents are never hot or cold. That way, the hero never has to burn himself on the hot metal while he is eluding the villain. Likewise, he will never have to shiver if the air conditioning is on.

20) Clapping finales in the movies often follow the same rules. First, there will be complete silence after the hero accomplishes a task or gives an inspiring speech. Second, one solitary person (this is often someone who means a great deal to the hero. The hero might have even had relationship problems with this person) will begin to clap slowly and rhythmically. Third, the solitary clapper is slowly joined by another...and then another...and then another clapper until ultimately everyone is clapping for the hero. ex. Cool Runnings, Strictly Ballroom, Can't Buy Me Love, etc.

21) Cleaning ladies in movies always wear black and white.

22) Butlers always speak in a monotone voice and are very unhappy.

23) The murderers in horror movies always have to be some nerd seeking revenge on the popular kids.

24) Whenever you see kids playing video games, they're always pressing random buttons constantly on the controller and making facial expressions while tilting their bodies side to side.

25) A woman falls in love with a superhero whose alter ego is madly in love with her. Eventually, she rejects the superhero for the "mild-mannered" alternate identity, but it is only when she kisses him for the first time that she realizes who he truly is. This cliche is never applied to men who fall in love with female superheroes. Ever.

26) If your dream is shown, then that dream is one of three things:
1) A perfectly accurate memory of some ancient time;
2) A completely correct vision of the future, or;
3) A 100% perfect psychic sending from the present.

27) If you're a male police officer, you will lose your job due to catching the wrong man and embaressing the police force. Don't worry, though; you will continue with the case on your own and eventually catch the right guy.

28) The president/leader of any organization will be in a swivel chair. You will start talking to them, and only when you enrage them will they turn around.

29) Although the most experienced sports team that have tried and tried and practiced and practiced for months before the big tournament can never win the trophy, a small group of geeky misfits will win it with ease.

30) Horror movies are the only movies where you can see a skinny, blonde chick start a chainsaw.

31) Anyone that's out in the ocean will be eaten by a shark.

32) There's always a midget in a carnival.

33) Phone lines are always cut off or busy when a person is trying to call for help when running from a murderer.

34) Guns never have to be reloaded. Characters will shoot forever.

35) The boss is always a cynical jerk.

36) Despite the character's job, they're always working in a cubicle.

37) All old ladies in movies have cats.

38) Lifeguards never hear your cries of help on the beach. Never.

39) In teen movies, the football player ALWAYS goes out with the cheerleader.

40) Throwing spitballs and passing notes are the ONLY two forms of amusement in a classroom when it comes to movies.

41) There's always thet weird, 'dum dum DUM DUM' sound of music playing in the background when a character is hiding from the murderer in their closet.

42) Everyone wears their shoes on inside the house.

43) All teens have a huge poster of the opposite sex on the back of their door.

44) Teens are always confronted by their lover/crush/friend the EXACT moment they open their locker.

45) Someone always falls with their tray in the cafeteria.

46) Asian nerds are portrayed as having big teeth and thick glasses with huge black rims and their hair style is a bowl cut.

47) Nerds always have to wear plaid, if not a pocket protector.

48) If you're in an anime (Japanese cartoon) movie, then your importance to the story will be determined by the strangeness of your hairstyle.

49) No matter how mysterious she is, no matter what she's said, no matter where she's from, you will always be willing to fight to the death to save the life of a woman you met 5 seconds ago.

50) If you're in a horror movie, never, EVER attend social parties. That's where you're gonna die.

51) The villain will not kill you when you are weak and at their mercy - this is because they are going to use you to do their evil will while making you think you're saving the world.

52) All ancient legends are true. All age-old stories are real. All prophecies will come true, almost immediately.

53) No need to dial - if there's a phone nearby, simply pick it up and start talking.

54) In all movies, the person riding the cab always reaches into their wallet without looking and pulls out the EXACT fare for the ride.

55) In scary movies, some girl ALWAYS has to trip while running away from the murderer despite how flat the ground may be.

56) Whenever two men are struggling, and a woman is present, the bad guy will drop a gun during the fight. The woman will then proceed to pick up the gun, but not walk over and threaten the villain who has her lover (the hero) in a choke hold.

57) During breakfast when everyone is rushing around to get ready. The dad regardless of profession, wears a suit and tie, carries his jacket and can't find his keys.

58) If a character is awakened by a radio alarm, it is perfectly timed to when the DJ is saying something like "Rise and shine! It's gonna be a beautiful day here in LA..."

8 Comments
 
Diwali in History
10.21.06 (1:24 pm)   [edit]

The history of Diwali is replete with legends and these legends are moored to the stories of Hindu religious scriptures, mostly the Puranas. Though the central theme of all legends point out to the classic truth of the victory of the good over the evils, the mode of their presentation and the characters differ. Diwali, being the festival of lights, lighting the lamp of knowledge within us means to understand and reflect upon the significant purpose of each of the five days of festivities and to bring those thoughts in to the day to day lives.

 The five day of Diwali
The first day of Diwali is called Dhanvantari Triodasi or Dhanwantari Triodasi also called Dhan Theras. The second day of Diwali is called Narak Chaturdasi. It is the fourteenth lunar day (thithi) of the dark forthnight of the month of Kartik and the eve of Diwali. On this day Lord Krishna destroyed the demon Narakasur and made the world free from fear. The third day of Diwali is the actual Diwali. This is the day when worship for Mother Lakshmi is performed. On the fourth day of Diwali, Goverdhan Pooja is performed. The fifth day of the diwali is called Bhratri Dooj. It is a day dedicated to sisters.

Hindu Mythology
The Story of Rama and Sita: Lord Rama was a great warrior King who was exiled by his father Dashratha, the King of Ayodhya, along with his wife Sita and his younger brother Lakshman, on his wife's insistence. Lord Rama returned to his Kingdom Ayodhya after 14 years of exile, in which he put an end to the demon Ravana of Lanka, who was a great Pundit, highly learned but still evil dominated his mind. After this victory of Good over Evil, Rama returned to Ayodhya. In Ayodhya, the people welcomed them by lighting rows of clay lamps. So, it is an occasion in honor of Rama's victory over Ravana; of Truth's victory over Evil.

The Story of King Bali and Vamana Avatar(the Dwarf): The other story concerns King Bali, who was a generous ruler. But he was also very ambitious. Some of the Gods pleaded Vishnu to check King Bali's power. Vishnu came to earth in the form of a Vamana(dwarf) dressed as priest. The dwarf approached King Bali and said "You are the ruler of the three worlds: the Earth, the world above the skies and the underworld. Would you give me the space that I could cover with three strides?" King Bali laughed. Surely a dwarf could not cover much ground, thought the King, who agreed to dwarf's request. At this point, the dwarf changed into Vishnu and his three strides covered the Earth, the Skies and the whole Universe! King Bali was send to the underworld. As part of Diwali celebrations, some Hindus remember King Bali.

The Defeat of Narkasur by Lord Krishna: Lord Vishnu in his 8th incarnation as Krishna destroyed the demon Narkasura, who was causing great unhappiness amongst the people of the world. Narkasura was believed to be a demon of filth, covered in dirt. He used to kidnap beautiful young women and force them to live with him. Eventually, their cries for rescue were heard by Vishnu, who came in the form of Krishna. First, Krishna had to fight with a five-headed monster who guarded the demon's home. Narkasura hoped that his death might bring joy to others. Krishna granted his request and the women were freed. For Hindus, this story is a reminder that good can still come out of evil.

Krishna and The Mountain: In the village of Gokula, many years ago, the people prayed to the God Indra. They believed that Indra sent the rains, which made their crops, grow. But Krishna came along and persuaded the people to worship the mountain Govardhan, because the mountain and the land around it were fertile. This did not please Indra. He sent thunder and torrential rain down on the village. The people cried to Krishna to help. Krishna saved the villagers by lifting the top of the mountain with his finger. The offering of food to God on this day of Diwali is a reminder to Hindus of the importance of food and it is a time for being thankful to God for the bounty of nature.

Sikh Festival Diwali
In Sikh perspective, Diwali is celebrated as the return of the sixth Guru, Guru Hargobind Ji from the captivity of the city, Gwalior. To commemorate his undying love for Sikhism, the towns people lit the way to, Harmandhir Sahib (referred to as the Golden Temple), in his honour.

Jain Festival Diwali
Among the Jain festivals, Diwali is one of the most important one. For on this occasion we celebrate the Nirvana of Lord Mahavira who established the dharma as we follow it. Lord Mahavira was born as Vardhamana on Chaitra Shukla 13th in the Nata clan at Khattiya-kundapura, near Vaishali. He obtained Kevala Gyana on Vishakha Shukla 10 at the Jambhraka village on the banks of Rijukula river at the age of 42.

4 Comments
 
India - Land of Festivals
10.21.06 (1:18 pm)   [edit]
India is a land of Festivals. Many festivals are celebrated here with great pomp and show. Each festival has a religious or mythological significance behind it. Diwali is one of them. It is the festival of lights. It is celebrated for several days. It falls in the month of October or early November.

Diwali is celebrated by Hindus. It marks the victory of Rama over Ravana. It is celebrated in honour of Lord Rama’s return to Ayodhya after Fourteen Years of exile. Before it falls, people clean and whitewash their houses. The toy and picture shops are rearranged. Sweets are brought and distributed. Candles and crackers are sold briskly. It is a festival for shopping. Laxmi pooja is performed. Shop-keepers perform pooja in their shops as well as at home. People greet their relatives and friends with sweets and crackers. Shops are lighted with colourful bulbs and attract huge crowd.

The evening is most interesting part of the day when houses are illuminated with earthen lamps or candles. Children burst crackers. One hears the sound of bursting bombs across the city. Every one looks happy. People worship the goddess the wealth ‘Lakshmi’. They pray for health and wealth. People start their new business from this day.

Diwali is considered the best festival all over India. It is called the festival of lights. It gives a message of love, brotherhood and friendship. The heart of every one should be illuminated with light.
0 Comments
 
Humor-Funny List of Movie Cliches-III
10.20.06 (12:25 am)   [edit]

a) Romance films almost always end up with the guy looking for the girl in the airport, seeing if she hadn't left for Chicago yet.

b) There's always a black guy helping out a white guy in ANY cop movie.

c) The Eiffel tower is perfectly visible from any window in Paris.

d) The school bus always honks twice for the kids inside to come outside and go to school.

e) All peasants in movies that take place in Mideval times, have perfect teeth.

f) All kids go to public schools.

g) No waiters allowed. Waitresses only.

h) When a family is watching TV together, what they are watching will be in black and white.

i) In a chase scene with cars, there will almost always be an unfinished bridge, which either the evil guy, and good guy will stop at, or the good guy will stop at, and the bad guy will fall off the end.The road with the unfinished bridge wion't be blocked off at the beggining, just at the end, which wouldn't really help.

j) The phone rings. The young girl who's home alone answers and its the homicidal maniac pretending to be a prank caller. They go through this scenerio about 5 times because the girl keeps hanging up. After the call that says "i'm gonna gut you like a fish" or something similar, the girl will hang up, shake it off and go back to eating her popcorn beside the unlocked porch door. When she hears a noise of someone inside the house, she decides to run up the stairs rather than out the front door where she can actually get away. Now all she can do is jump from an upstairs window to her death, or hide in the house hoping the killer will just forget about it after he can't find her.

k) If there is a fire, firemen will accidentally leave a woman or child in the building but will be unable to go back in a rescue them because the fire has taken over the building. Then the hero will appear in a tank top and jeans and be able to go into the building and save the person.

l) All young boys look like their hair has been cut by placing a bowl over their head and cutting around it.

m) All of the animals in the movie are put in danger by humans, then humans save them and turn them out into the wild. If the animals are a threat to humans then in that case they are killed.

n) Anytime a boy loser in a high school flick trys to get the most popular girl in school, either his best friend or other guy will get to her first.

o) In a war movie, there is almost always someone named for a city or state, but the character is not actually from the state or city they are named for.

p) In the morning when a character walks out to pick up the newspaper, there's always a neighbor watering the yard there to greet them.

q) In movies set in winter, if a house has christmas decorations, then the entire neighborhood has similar and consistant decorations on their houses.

r) In teenager movies, popular guys will make a bet or deal to go out with an unpopular girl. During the bet he will fall for her and then she finds out and they get in a big fight.

s) With teenager movies, the nerdy protagonist will always end up being prom queen/king.

t) When a character has a nightmare, as soon as they wake up and they sit up with their eyes wide open.

u) Whether or not they eventually win, the protagonist and often the antagonist will make it into the finals of any given competition.

4 Comments
 
A Funny List of Movie Cliches Part-II
10.18.06 (8:50 pm)   [edit]

1) Unless mountain climbing, the backcountry mountainous terrain characters end up in looks suspiciously like a well-groomed ski-slope.

2) Kids always have side conversations during school, which really aggravates the teacher.

3) Getting an answer in an interrogation requires repeating a question 3 times, etc.

4) reaking down doors requires 3 hits.

5) School lunches look like slop.

6) When someone mentions the president, they never say his name.

7) People never have the sleepy face or bed head after they wake up in the morning. Only if they wake up in the middle of the night.

8) Enemies are very inaccurate when it comes to firing a gun.

9) Only twins are allowed to share bedrooms.

10) The villain will almost always kidnap the hero's woman in an atempt to destroy the hero's heart and spirit, but instead it gives him the will to go on and ends up being the villain's downfall, or the woman he kidnaps will end up defeating him.

11) Any kind of music in a club, at a dance, etc, always has a backbeat but no words.

12) Everyone's phone number is programmed into the same speed dial key.

13) Guns are always conveniently loaded with no more, and no less bullets than needed.

14) Even with three year olds running rampant, the mansion (of course) is always spotless.

15) Vegetables are always being chopped in the kitchen, but no one ever has the time to eat dinner.

16) Makeup in movies is mixed with a secret sticking solution, so it is incapable of becoming smudged or being rubbed off unless streaming mascara is needed for dramatic impact.

17) Black leather clothing is necessary to wield high-powered automatic weapons.

18) In action movies, there is always someone whose last words are, "Oh sh*t."

19) There is always one heavily muscled black guy, preferably with an accent of some sort, in action movies.

20) To be included in the geek clique, you must first have about 10 grand worth of orthodontia in your mouth.

21) At least one popular girl is blonde.

22) Even nerds don't have zits.

23) A huge wave of water or large ball of fire will always back up to give time for any important characters to run away. This usually happens when thecamera angle changes. Disasters that should take 5 seconds can easily take as long as necesary for characters to reach safety. These things usually never effect the hiding spot.

24) When two or more people are having a phone conversation, it is never terminated with a "goodbye", they always just hang up after getting to the point.

25) Whenever the hero or heroine is injured, it will always be a member of the opposite sex who treats their wounds, especially if the man is the wounded one.

26) If a man hits the heroine, she will do nothing for the present but will return near the end to give him a good whack. However, a heroine will never hit the hero back.

27) Teenage girls only own pretty, lacy, undergarments, and they always have matching sets of bras and panites.

28) Villans will always explain their plan, in its entirety, to the hero before leaving him in an easily escapable situation with an incredibly incompetentguard, or no guard at all.

29) When the distressed hero goes to drown his spirits at the bar, he'll say to the bartender, "Leave the bottle," and the bartender does, no questions asked.

30) In movies and television, Crime Scene Investigators don't just do the forensics, they question suspects and solve entire crimes FOR the DA

5 Comments
 
Humor-A Funny List of Movie Cliches
10.17.06 (2:36 am)   [edit]
a) When a girl is in a house all by herself in a horror movie, it is always raining or thunder and lightning outside.

b) In all junior highs, the popular girls have big boobs, while the geeky girls are flat-chested.

c) In movies when a character is brushing his/her teeth, they never get toothpaste on their mouth or rinse out their toothbrush when through cleaning their teeth.

d) Anybody eating chinese food always eats it out of the box with chopsticks.

e) If you try to get your ex partner back by going out with someone else in order to make your ex jealous, you will succeed but by the time you have achieved what you set out to do you will have fallen for the other person.

f) A good guy will never, ever, shoot a bad guy in the kneecap, even if it would be incredibly helpful to him.

g) In any musical, no matter how tough the gang and/or bad guy, they/he can always belt out a heartfelt melody in a deep and lilting baritone voice.

h) A woman´s shoes always make high heel clacking sounds, regardless which shoe type she wears. She can even wear sneakers...

i) Whenever at a bar or dance with loud music cranked up on high, the couple the audience sees talking have perfectly audible voices and can talk as though there is no music.

j) In most 80's action flicks bussiness men and security guards look like Huey Lewis or Bruce Springsteen.

k) The villain will always have thousands of henchmen working for him or a small army that follows him.

l) There is always a full moon when people goto bed. When the lights are turned off, a delayed light turns on, causing a blue cast in the room in which they could read by.

m) If you are going to be killed it has to be at a time when you are alone and it has to be at night and raining.

n) If you see something, then turn away, it wont be there the next time you look.

o) The antidote to any horrible, out-of-control virus can always be attained somewhere in the neighborhood of the other side of the world often from an exotic plant. Somehow these plants can always be reproduced to cure the epidemic.

p) It is impossible for two colleages of the opposite sex to have a completely proffessional relationship.

q) If you decide to launch into song there will always be backing music available.

r) If the movie is set in America any Australians will talk with a British accent.

s) Women of action can run, do karate, kickbox, climb ladders and perform highly acrobatic movements while wearing six inch heals and either a miniskirt or a tight leather cat suit.

t) If a person has an occupation that involves spending most of their working hours at weddings, their love life will be a disaster or non-existent.

u) If the bad guy is some kind of well-dressed senior chief of a big company, he´s most likely a brutal guy who likes to kick the hero into the face or some other vital parts of the body.

3 Comments
 
Winter home find cheers twitchers
10.16.06 (11:23 am)   [edit]

Bird charities are ecstatic after identifying the winter home of the northern bald ibis, a critically endangered species.

Three birds have now been followed by satellite tags from their summer grounds in Syria to Ethiopia.

Britain's Royal Society for the Protection of Birds (RSPB) describes the find as a "major breakthrough".

It says the ibis is the rarest bird in the Middle East; exact numbers are unknown but could be under 1,000.

The internationally-recognise d Red List of Threatened Species categorises the northern bald ibis (Geronticus eremita) as critically endangered because of habitat loss, farming, human encroachment and pollution.

There are thought to be only two surviving summer populations, one in Syria and one in Morocco. Its range used to extend into Europe.

"Knowing where these birds go and how they get there is a major breakthrough," said Chris Bowden, a bald ibis specialist with RSPB.

"This has answered a big question mark that remained for this species, and one that we feared we might never resolve."

0 Comments
 
The Importance Of "Correct Punctuation"
10.14.06 (10:37 pm)   [edit]

Dear John: I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy--will you let me be yours?
Gloria

Dear John: I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?
Yours,
Gloria

4 Comments
 
Humor-Phone company's errors
10.14.06 (10:31 pm)   [edit]

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.

Phone Company Gives Something for Nothing

Dear Ann,

I think I can top the person who wrote complaining about the idiocy of the phone company. Talk about garbage in, garbage out!

When AT&T split with Bell, we had three phones in our house. The equipment belonged to Ma Bell and the service belonged to AT&T. After we returned all the phone equipment to Ma Bell, we received a bill for $0.00. A few weeks later, we received a check for $5 and a note thanking us. Several months later, we received another computerized bill for $0.00. We called again, got nowhere, so we sent another check for $0.00. A few weeks later we received another $5 refund with the same thank you.

This went on every three months for two years. Now we are down to once a year and have given up trying to straighten this out. We just cash the $5 and forget about it.

-- Linda K. R. in California

0 Comments
 
Funny-True Stories
10.14.06 (7:33 am)   [edit]
As the following classified classics will demonstrate, there are often
more laughs on the advertising and classified pages than you can find
in the cartoons and comic strips:

Lost: small apricot poodle.  Reward.  Neutered.  Like one of the family.

A superb and inexpensive restaurant.  Fine food expertly served by
waitresses in appetizing forms.

Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, pottie
chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar.

Four-poster bed, 101 years old.  Perfect for antique lover.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to
take home, too.

Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery.  We do it carefully by hand.

No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it
really repellent.

For Sale.  Three canaries of undermined sex.

For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepperd and an Alaskan Hussy.

Creative daily specials, including select offerings of beef, foul, fresh
vagetables, salads, quiche.

7 ounces of choice sirloin steak, boiled to your likeness and smothered
with golden fried onion rings.

Great Dames for sale.

Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

Tired of cleaning yourself?  Let me do it.

20 dozen bottles of excellent Old Tawny Port, sold to pay for charges,
the owner having lost sight of, and bottled by us last year.

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis
Cemetery.  It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and
Chopin.

Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge.  Swim
in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other
athletic facilities.

Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates.
Automatically burns toast.

Sheer stockings.  Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots
of women wear nothing else.

Stock up and save.  Limit: one.

Save regularly in our bank.  You'll never reget it.

We build bodies that last a lifetime.

Offer expires December 31 or while supplies last .

This is the model home for your future.  It was panned by Better Homes
and Gardens.

For Sale--Diamonds $20; microscopes $15.

For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

Man, honest.  Will take anything.

Wanted: chambermaid in rectory.  Love in, $200 a month.  References required.
    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp; 
Wanted: Part-time married girls for soda fountain in sandwich shop.

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory.  Must be willing to travel.

Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated?  Come here first!

Christmans tag-sale.  Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

Modular Sofas.  Only $299.  For rest or fore play.

Wanted: Hair-cutter.  Excellent growth potential.

Wanted.  Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

3-year-old teacher need for pre-school.  Experience preferred.

Our experienced Mom will care for your child.  Fenced yard, meals, and
smacks included.

Our bikinis are exciting.  They are simply the tops.

Auto Repair Service.  Free pick-up and delivery.  Try us once, you'll
never go anywhere again.

See ladies blouses.  50% off!

Holcross pullets.  Starting to lay Betty Clayton, Granite 5-6204.

Wanted: Preparer of food.  Must be dependable, like the food business,
and be willing to get hands dirty.

Illiterate?  Write today for free help.

Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion.  Blue Cross
and salary.

Wanted.  Widower with school-age children requires person to assume
general housekeeping duties.  Must be capable of contributing to growth
of family.

Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for
efficient beating.

Mother's helper--peasant working conditions.

Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.

And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety,
unrivaled inconvenience.

We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.
   


    And these beauties from the radio:
   
Ladies and gentlemen, now you can have a bikini for a ridiculous figure.

Be with us again next Saturday at 10 p.m. for "High Fidelity," designed
to help music lovers increase their reproduction.

When you are thirsty, try 7-Up,the refreshing drink in the green bottle
with the big 7 on it and u-p after.

Tune in next week for another series of classical music programs from
the Canadian Broadcorping Castration.
 

9 Comments
 
Fashion-Marc Jacobs Collection
10.12.06 (12:53 pm)   [edit]
Soft Box Bag
Soft Box Bag$995.00   

  • Polished grained leather
  • Aged brass hardware
  • Trompe l'oeil signature push-lock closure on front with stud accents
  • Chunky brass chain link shoulder straps with leather shoulder pads and links; 9" drop
  • Zip top closure with leather pulls
  • Smooth contrast leather lining with zipped pocket
  • Protective metal feet
  • 11.5" x 8" x 5"
  • Made in Italy

 

1 Comments
 
Hollywood Lessons
10.11.06 (2:07 am)   [edit]
1. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one, dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
2. Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
3. All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach the armpit level of a woman, but only the waist level of the man lying beside her.
4. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
5. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.
6. All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
7. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least a half-hour to escape.
8. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
9. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
10. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
11. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
12. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
13. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off, but luckily you'll always blindly choose to cut the right wire.
1 Comments
 
Google buys YouTube for $1.65bn
10.10.06 (4:13 pm)   [edit]

Google is buying video-sharing website YouTube for $1.65bn (£883m) in shares after a weekend of speculation that a deal was in the offing.

YouTube

 The two companies will continue to operate independently, Google said as it announced the news on Monday.

YouTube, launched in February 2005, has grown quickly into one of the most popular websites on the internet.

It has 100 million videos viewed every day and an estimated 72 million individual visitors each month.

"The YouTube team has built an exciting and powerful media platform that complements Google's mission to organize the world's information and make it universally accessible and useful," Google chief executive Eric Schmidt said in a statement.

He said the two companies were "natural partners" to offer a media entertainment service to users, content owners and advertisers.

Mr Schmidt also told investors that YouTube will be "one of many investments" Google plans to make in the video field.

However, the company will keep operating its own Google Video as a separate operation.

YouTube will retain its brand, and its 67 staff, including co-founders Chad Hurley and Steve Chen, will keep their jobs.

"Our community has played a vital role in changing the way that people consume media, creating a new clip culture," said Mr Hurley.

"By joining forces with Google, we can benefit from its global reach and technology leadership to deliver a more comprehensive entertainment experience for our users and to create new opportunities for our partners."

According to Comscore World Metrix, YouTube's audience has soared from 2.8 million unique users one year ago to 72 million users in August 2006.

1 Comments
 
Angelina hard at work
10.09.06 (10:37 pm)   [edit]
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt began shooting scenes for a movie about the life of slain journalist Daniel Pearl on Monday, said a crew member on the movie shoot in the western Indian city of Pune.

Security was tight around a spacious bungalow in the Pune suburb of Aundh, chosen because the area resembles Karachi, Pakistan, where Pearl and his wife Mariane spent time.

Jolie plays Mariane Pearl in the film, A Mighty Heart, and Dan Futterman portrays Daniel Pearl. Both were involved in Monday's shoot, said a set manager who did not want to be named for fear of losing his job.

A street sign outside the bungalow has been changed to "Zamzama Fourth Street", and the height of boundary walls of adjoining cottages has been raised to replicate the area Pearl and his wife stayed in Karachi before Pearl's abduction.

The Wall Street Journal reporter was abducted and murdered in Pakistan in 2002 while researching a story on Islamic militancy.

Pune is about 160 kilometres south of Mumbai, India's financial and entertainment hub.

Television reporters, photographers and journalists have been camped outside the Pune hotel where the couple are staying and the bungalow since the stars arrived in India late last week.

Pictures of Pitt and Jolie with their son Maddox in an autorickshaw made the front page of India's national newspapers on Monday.

Their 20-minute ride in the three-wheeler rickshaw took them past shops and department stores in downtown Pune.

The couple are in India with Maddox, five, Zahara, 18 months, and four-month-old Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt.

The movie is based on an adaptation of Mariane Pearl's book, A Mighty Heart: The Brave Life and Death of My Husband Danny Pearl, and will be co-produced by Plan B, a production company founded by Pitt and his ex-wife, actress Jennifer Aniston.

2 Comments
 
Sony won't cut PSP price in '06
10.06.06 (6:37 pm)   [edit]

Sony does not expect to cut the U.S. price of its PSP handheld game system for the rest of 2006, and the number of available games will nearly double to about 230 in that time.

Sony introduced the PSP, or PlayStation Portable, in 2005 in a bundled package that included several accessories and has sold some 5.5 million units in the United States. Currently it sells the device for $200 without some original add-ons, as well as a $250 package including the device, a movie and a memory card.

"We don't necessarily see the need to cut the price," John Koller, a product manager at Sony Computer Entertainment, told Reuters. "We need to offer broader value and introduce new consumers to what the PSP can do."

PSP -- which offers interactive video games, digital music and video and lets users surf the Web -- faces a tough challenge in the market for pocket-sized media devices such as Nintendo's DS and Apple Computer Inc.'s.

Critics have suggested a dearth of compelling games has hurt demand.But Koller says there will be about 110 new titles available by the end of 2006, bringing the roster to about 230. Moreover, Koller added that since the PSP is a diverse system, with the ability to play games, download video and enjoy media, its does not compare directly to the other handheld systems.

He added that Sony would soon detail how the PSP would integrate with Sony's highly anticipated next-generation game console, the PlayStation 3, which is due in November

2 Comments
 
Humor-Top Reasons Eminem's Wife Filed for Divorce
10.05.06 (3:02 pm)   [edit]
 
spacer
 --That comment about Elton being "twice the woman" she ever was.

--Caught Eminem fantasizing about killing other women.

--Sick of hiding her love for the Insane Clown Posse.

--Sure, he talks and raps like a black man, but when he takes down his pants...

--Would rather end up like Nicole Kidman than Nicole SIMPSON.

--Overheard 5-year-old daughter shouting, "Faggot!" while watching "Mr. Rogers".

--Recently overtaken by a strange and unfamiliar compulsion to live past the age of 35.

--I mean come on, people. . . the dude LOST TO STEELY DAN!!!

--Thanks to a recent surgery, her head's no longer implanted deep within her own rectum.

...And The Top Reason Eminem's Wife Filed For Divorce. . .

--Sick of dating a rich, famous, abusive bastard. Would like to try a poor, unknown abusive bastard for a change.

0 Comments
 
Joke-So Cultured!
10.05.06 (2:54 pm)   [edit]
  
spacer
 

A Greek and an Italian were drinking coffee one day discussing who had the superior culture. Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, "Well, we have the Parthenon".

Arching his eyebrows the Italian replies, "We have the Coliseum."

The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics." The Italian, nodding in agreement, says, "But we built the Roman Empire."

And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion.

With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented sex!"

The Italian replies, "That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women."

0 Comments
 
HP nc8430 with Core 2 Duo and X1600
10.04.06 (8:41 pm)   [edit]

The nc8430 is HP's business class high-powered 15.4" notebook, often popular for its solid build, gaming capability, and business class support through HP. It starts at a base price of $1,449 with a three year standard warranty, but you can purchase the notebook as one of several pre-configured models or make a custom-to-order.

It has a far more superior graphics capabilities, business class quality construction and support, is a more comfortable 15.4" widescreen, and was still relatively light weight while keeping a respectable battery life. 

Laptop Configuration:-

  • Intel Core 2 Duo T7400 (2.16 GHz, 667 MHz FSB, 4 MB L2 Cache)
  • Windows XP Pro
  • 2048MB (2GB) 667MHz DDR2 (1GB factory installed, 1GB customer installed)
  • 100GB Hard Drive @ 7200 RPM
  • 15.4" WSXGA+ (1680 x 1050)
  • 56Kbps Modem & 10/100/1000 NIC
  • 8 Cell Primary Battery
  • Dual Pointer Devices
  • Intel 802.11a/b/g & Bluetooth
  • Embedded TPM 1.2 & Fingerprint Reader
  • 3/3/0 Year Onsite Warranty in US
  • HP Advanced Docking Station
  • 0 Comments
     
    10.03.06 (11:52 am)   [edit]

    Ans. 1.  GROUNDHOG DAY

    Ans. 2.  Star Spangled Banner

    Ans. 3.  DNA

    Ans. 4.  Maine

    Ans. 5.  Defencelessne ss.

    0 Comments